A while ago (like in September), I started this story of mine.
I’d just gone into a superhero/action phase, seeking any books with heroes, powers and supers in it. I enjoyed car chases, kidnappings and the lot, especially with a subtle romance and an overarching, nefarious plot.
And then I decided to try my hand at writing one.
I don’t know if it worked, even if I feel pretty happy about just finishing my 25th chapter. But the past while I’ve read several writing tips and advice, and I wonder about the following;
Bullet has a prologue.
Now, this in and of itself isn’t a bad thing, but many people feel it’s unnecessary. I feel like mine isn’t a big revelation, but it does add depth to the story
There’s quite a bit of conflict about it, and some people even go so far as to say they skip it.
Is my plot confusing? Or do I repeat unnecessary dialogue?
Again, outsider’s perspective needed.
It makes sense in my mind, but my brain fills in the gaps as I read, so assessing it is harder than I thought it would be.
The synopsis is as follows;
Bullet is the lucky orphan adopted by a team of heroes when she was young. She was raised by them, taught by them, and can keep up with them. In fact, she likes trying to step on their ‘moment’ by interceding in a fight with her guns.
But Bella is restless. She knows nothing of her past and can’t find any information in the government databases. So when a chance encounter may lead to answers, even if it means partnering with a boy with questionable loyalties, who is she to say no?
What she didn’t expect was the repercussions here activities would lead to.
And how much it would change the world.
Sounds interesting? Read on!
If you’re interested in reading a free, on-going action book, then you can find me on Wattpad for Bullet.
And I’ll be posting the chapters on Inkitt as well (Bullet) but they’re posted at a slower pace as I use Grammarly to edit my past-written chapters and tweak some dialogue.
Here’s the prologue and part of the first chapter, if you’re interested;
I sit and listen as the shots ring out, rocking back and forth, my arms crossed over my knees, my forehead leaned against them. My eyes were shut and tears fell onto my cheeks as I prayed the same prayer in my head.
Please don’t let them die.
I heard the dull thuds of footsteps, the small tremors of impact on the walls, and the grunts of pain echoing throughout the house.
Please don’t let them die.
Glass shatters, and I flinch as a female voice cries out in pain. A gunshot follows and a dull roar in my ears as more yelling ensues.
Please, not today. Lord, please.
A door crashes open and I still. Footsteps, a shadow, a voice. “Negative. Target not acquired. Lost sight.”
Please, don’t let us die.
A final shout, a crash of something heavy rattling the windows and shaking the walls. A final word, a final shot, a final door closing. And then empty silence, until my sobs break free.
I’m barely aware as someone opens the closet door and lifts my tiny twelve-year-old self into their arms.
“You’re safe now.” are the last words I hear before all goes black.
“Ice! Now please!”
Ice rolls her eyes, sauntering forward and slowly approaching Wreck and Blaze. They were each struggling to gain the upper hand in their fight. Which looked more like a wrestling match, from where I stood.
Ice looked down, and ice spread from her feet creeping towards the two boys fighting. The ice froze Wreck to the ground and encased his lower body in a solid cube. The ice couldn’t accidentally hurt Blaze, since his body was burning temperatures. All the time.
“Watch it!” barked Ice as one of Blaze’s flaming hands came to close to her ice cube. He almost always had his hands in flames, and would accidentally melt her ice if he wasn’t careful. Which he usually wasn’t.
Wreck laughed as he watched their interaction. “You two should fight each other. It would be highly entertaining.”
“No!” said Ice, frowning when Blaze nodded enthusiastically. “Yes!”
“No,” she said again.
“Oh why not?” he asked exasperatedly. She encased Wreck in an ice globe as he broke free from his ice cube. “That’s why.” She said, lowering her hands.
Ice backed up a few steps, still keeping an eye on the globe and crouched to pick something up. She walked back, the handcuffs in her hand clanging together and held out them towards Blaze, but he refused to take them. She shook them slightly, the chains and cuffs clanking together, but he shook his head even more forcefully.
Her shoulders slumped. “Why not?”
“Because I melt the ice.” He replied in a voice that sounded like he was talking to someone stupid.
Ice groaned as her globe shattered into a million pieces. I flinched, and Blaze erupted into flames. He looks around wildly, spots Wreck and shoots a stream of flame toward him, but misses.
“Shoot accurately!” yells Ice, while trying to focus on her own attempts at trying to capture Wreck. She was careful not to injure him, which was ultimately her mistake.
I smile, studying the three figures from where I stood in the shadows; Ice in her light blue spandex, a little ‘frosty’ skirt attached to it. Blaze in his brilliant reds, oranges, yellows and even a little light blue near his feet and drawn around the eyes on his mask. And finally Wreck, in his dark brown.
I choose my machine gun and tap my earpiece to let Sergeant know I’m stepping in. I take a steadying breath, something I do every time before I intercede in a fight. And then walk into the sunlight.
We are standing on the roof of an apartment building, and it’s almost time for the sun to set, so the view is absolutely gorgeous.
I take advantage of their surprise to see me and shoot at Wreck. I smile as I grip the gun, ignoring the other two’s shocked faces when he collapses. Wreck is technically impenetrable, but these are special bullets, designed especially for supers. He will self-heal in twenty-six point five hours.
Long enough to get him into prison.
I shift the gun to lean on my shoulder and smile as Sergeant lands next to me. He has the whole package deal; flight, super strength, super speed and advanced senses. He glares at Blaze and Ice. “You two couldn’t handle Wreck?”
They shift uncomfortably, and Sergeant looks up. He sees the approaching helicopter and is reminded of the press, the public and the police. “We’ll talk later.” He tells them before putting on a smile and leaving to boss the police around.
Sergeant is a definite public favourite, especially with the young female population. Not only is he a male super, but you can tell he is young and good looking. Even with the mask.
Dark hair and grey eyes, with silver and gold flecks when not wearing contacts, I can always recognise him.
Blaze stands next to me. “You know, Wreck is not supposed to die.”
“You know,” I say, cocking my hip and placing my hand on my hip. “You took too long.”
He laughs, running his hand through his red hair. His brown eyes have flecks of orange and red, and they always give the idea that he has a joke to share.
Ice stands on my other side. “You know,” she says, copying my movements. “You can be annoying.” She smirks, her platinum hair falling over one shoulder and her unnaturally light eyes sparkling like snow.
I wave a hand and start to walk away. “You know, it’s because I can actually accomplish something.”
“Low blow, Bullet!” Yells Blaze after me. “That was low!”
“And completely true,” I yell back, disappearing down the stairs.
chapter one- continued here
Wow, thanks for reading this far.
I owe you.
< 3 klara